What to do when we experience anxiety

For the past 5 years I’ve been experiencing what I can only refer to as a spiritual (re)awakening. In the past 3 or so, I’ve found myself drawn to the teachings of the Law of Attraction. The basic principle is that you and I and everything we see and feel and smell and touch are simply…vibration. The idea is that vibration attracts like vibration. Happiness attracts happiness, sadness attracts sadness, and abundance attracts abundance. Scientifically, this makes loads of sense. Imagine yourself in a room with two guitars, one on each wall. If you pluck the B string of one of these, sure enough, the B string on the other will softly vibrate.

According to many spiritualists who teach this principle, we are best served not in living in our frustrations and fears and regrets, but rather in reaching for the best possible feeling we can at any given time. In so doing, we practice living in gratitude and good feeling feelings. We notice the abundance that constantly surrounds us, and what do you know…we invariably attract more abundance. I and countless others have found great relief in and resonance with this. Think about it–when we find ourselves upset about something, don’t we usually tend to notice other things that upset us? And when we feel on top of the world about something, doesn’t the air smell fresher? Aren’t the colors and patterns of nature more vivid and beautiful?

Inherent in this law/practice is the belief that our feelings matter. That our feelings are part of our wildly sophisticated internal guidance system, and that in observing/understanding/governing our feelings, we are able to create our reality. Our internal beliefs and feelings are reflected back to us in our external world. As above, so below.

Whoooooaaaa. What?

For some of us, this is an easy pill to swallow. For others, not so much. The reality is that a great many of us somehow came to accept the belief that we are “too sensitive” or “too emotional”. The disastrous effect of being told this is that we actually believe it.

Let that sink in for a moment.

If you’ve heard those words before, it probably hasn’t been just once. In all likelihood, you were told this many times by many different people, starting in early childhood. If you hear it enough times, you begin to believe that there is actually something wrong with you, and subsequently you decide that you can’t trust your feelings. For many of us, this leads to a lifetime of indecisiveness, frustration, and self-loathing.

But what if there isn’t and never was anything wrong with us? What if there is no such thing as “too sensitive” or “too emotional”? What if our emotions are there for a reason?

They are there for a reason. They are one of our greatest tools in creating the life that we want to live. Our feelings serve us in countless ways. For one thing, they help us to sense danger, and prepare us to freeze, fight, or flee. They help us to know when something is the right or wrong decision for us, and they help us to know what we do and don’t want in this life. No doubt you’ve also heard the words, “trust your gut” and “listen to your heart”.

Understand that every feeling you have is based upon a belief. We flee because we’re afraid, and we’re afraid because we believe such and such will happen.

Luckily, we’re also blessed with another incredible gift: logic. The ability to reason.

The next time you find yourself experiencing anxiety, try this. Take a deep breath, and simply…observe. Say to yourself, “I’m experiencing anxiety right now”. Take another deep breath (and another, and another…) and observe what’s going through your mind. In all likelihood, probably many things! You’re no doubt experiencing some fear, which is based in the belief that such and such will happen. Breeeeaaathe. Allow yourself to experience whatever you’re feeling in that moment, if you can. Don’t try to stop it, just breathe and observe what you’re feeling and thinking. Invariably, the culprit of this anxiety will reveal itself to you. There may even be many culprits. Observe, and keep breathing. Try to name what it is that scares you so in that moment. Usually, it’s something like “I’m afraid _______ is going to happen.” Don’t reach for distractions, don’t try to think of something else. The greatest gift that you can give yourself in this moment is to simply be with yourself. In so doing, you practice self-acceptance, and you allow your fear to take shape. The more that you allow yourself this space when experiencing anxiety, the more you’ll see the common threads. Over time, you’ll begin to recognize (a) the moments when you’re beginning to experience anxiety, which empowers you to act more quickly, and (b) which specific fears habitually trigger your anxiety. This knowledge is invaluable, because it allows you to pinpoint which beliefs are the root of your fears. You can then reason with yourself. “I am often afraid of this. Do I have reason to be?”

When you experience anxiety, you’re probably also thinking, “I wish I weren’t feeling this right now”. Keep breathing, and practice Acceptance in these moments. “I accept that part of me is thinking/feeling this right now, and I accept that another part of me wishes that I weren’t thinking/feeling this right now.” In so doing, you hear yourself. You validate yourself as a person, and begin to heal the belief that your feelings don’t matter.

Your feelings matter, and you are enough, just by being you. You may not spend every minute of every day feeling completely full of joy, but I promise it can get better, the more love and acceptance you show yourself.

That’s all for now, my friends! Peace, and much love 🙂